Before I Go to Sleep

So, basic knife handling, sharpening, and maintenance, along with rudimentary but effective dicing, mincing, and slicing. Nothing too serious. Just enough facility with a knife to be on a par with any Sicilian grandmother. Everyone should be able to make an omelet. Egg cookery is as good a beginning as any, as itБЂ™s the first meal of the day, and because the process of learning to make an omelet is, I believe, not just a technique but a builder of character. One learns, necessarily, to be gentle when acquiring omelet skills: a certain measure of sensitivity is needed to discern whatБЂ™s going on in your panБЂ”and what to do about it. I have long believed that it is only right and appropriate that before one sleeps with someone, one should be ableБЂ”if called upon to do soБЂ”to make them a proper omelet in the morning. Surely that kind of civility and selflessness would be both good manners and good for the world. Perhaps omelet skills should be learned at the same time you learn to fuck. Perhaps there should be an unspoken agreement that in the event of loss of virginity, the more experienced of the partners should, afterward, make the other an omeletБЂ”passing along the skill at an important and presumably memorable moment ...»