Legal Terminology 4th ed.

In any event, now that you and the seller have set a price, you need to sign the agreement of sale, which should be worded in standard legal terminology, as follows: Standard Agreement Of Sale WHEREAS the Seller wants to sell, and the Buyer wants to buy, and they think they got a price that’s not too low or too high; and the Buyer gave the Seller a down payment to hold, now he’ll try to get a mortgage ‘fore they BOTH grow old; and the Seller’s gonna see if he got termites in his place ‘cause if he does, the Buyer’s gonna tear it right up in his face; but if everything is cool and nobody’s late, then the deal will go down on the Settlement Date. CHORUS Oooh baby baby We gon’ have a transaction tonight Of course I realize you probably don’t understand some of this “legal jargon,” but this is only because you are stupid. This is why it’s important to ask several lawyers to give you contradictory advice before you sign anything, including get-well cards. Meanwhile, however, it is time to go around to some banks and see if you can find one foolish enough to lend you some money ...»